Z love Him not him


It was 14:45. A Tuesday. I was making my way upstairs to the laboratory. That was when my phone rings. I am all set up. Grasping  my labcoat when the phone vibrates. I picked it up, pressing the accept button,

“ Assalamualaikum. Weh how’s things? What are you doing right now?”

“On the way to the lab. I’m good. Alhamdulillah(trying to sound like my Sudan friend). What’s up?”

She pressed her voice sounded like it was very hard to even speak up. Like the thought of it, of what she’s going to say in a few minutes would wear her out.

“I have just broke up with him”


That was the first thing I could actually say. Because besides the fact that I am in a hurry , I don’t really know how to say the right thing to a broken hearted peson. And I also don’t see the magnitude of the situation, the damage , the pain, to even relate to the situation maybe because I just don’t understand that feeling.

“I feel terrible. I can’t get over him, we have been together for 4 years”

As expected.

I found a bench and sat on it. Listening to every word she is saying.

“He send a text message saying that he’s out from this relationship, he don’t want to be in this anymore.What am I going to do after this? What is left in me?”

And then there were silence. Like she is waiting for me to say something to comfort her. Like ‘he will call you’, or ‘you will be alright’, or ‘it’s not over, just a fight’ or ‘you guys will be okay again, it’s just a phase’


“He did the right thing”


“He did the right thing.  And you need to get over him”

“Don’t say that. Come on. I’m your friend. Don’t just give me those words. I’m in pain”

“I can’t tell you what you want to hear. I can only tell you what you need to know.

I paused. Trying to get to my point clear, without being affected of how I may sound to her.

Then I said:

Allah said ‘Do not come near Zina, for it is a shameful deed and an evil path’. He didn’t say never do Zina, he said not to do anything that would come to Zina,not to be involved in anything that would approach to that and that of course would include unlawful relationship, a relationship that does not have a legal ties that bind two  person, man and woman together like marriage.

“Do not come near Zina, for it is a shameful deed and an evil path”

Surah Al-Israa:32

Friends, lets take a deep insight to this hadith;

Abu Hurairah reported that Rasulullah (pbuh) ‘There are three whom that Allah will not speak on the Day of Resurrection, nor praise, nor look at; theirs will be a painful torment: an old man who commits zina, a king who lies, an a poor man who is arrogant.’ Reported by Muslim, 1/102-103.

Now, as we have seen how Zina is viewed by our God, Allah the Almighty, He will not speak nor praise nor look at us if we were the one to commit Zina. This shows enough how is Zina viewed in Islam. How wrongful and immoral it is in Islamic perception and understanding.

Come to think of it, why is there such law and prohibition against this action and deed. Islam never burdens its ummat.  There is always a reason behinds God order. Let’s take a look at this ayah;

“Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty, that will make for greater purity for them, and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do”

Surah Annur:30

Allah gives order to stay away from Zina, to actually protect us. To guard us against danger of the nafs  and reserve our self-respect and pride. For us to maintain our purity and have the self-worthy, to actually be respected in a society, to have the rspect for ourselves. It is also to protect us from diseases and injuring ourselves because of commiting this sin. Another to see this is, we are also known to have the identity of a pure Muslims that follows the order of God, that has a self-pride and self-worth that is protected by following His order.

Therefore, let’s restrain ourselves from this sin and take good care of ourselves and our action. Guarding and protecting your purity means loving yourselve and Allah’s order shows his love towards  us .

So, what kind of Zina there is?

According to the version narrated by Muslims;

“The zina of the eyes is looking, the zina of the ears is listening, the zina of the tongue is speaking, the zina of the hand is touching, and the zina of the foot is walking. The heart wishes and longs and the private part confirms that or denies it.” Muslim, 2657

So these are the type of Zina that we could have been commited if we are not watchful enough. All these associate with how well we took good care of Allah’s gift towards us. Guard it well to protect us from commiting any of the Zina.

One of the Zina described by the hadith is the Zina of the heart, which can be describe as longing and desiring. This includes being in a relationship of love without a legal knots like marriage. So there it is. As simple as that. Commiting a relationship, an illegal, without marriage and only is there with the basis of loving each other is wrong.

Unclean women are for the unclean men, and unclean men are for unclean women; and pure women are for pure men, and pure men are for pure women. They are free from the slanderer’s accusations; for them there shall be forgiveness and honorable provision from Allah  “Surah Annur:26

Therefore say no to that, to being in  a love relationship without tying the knot and believe that Allah will always be there and loves us. Do not do something that will mean going against His order. Always believe that He will give the best to us. We always have the chance to repent. The door is still open. Find Him, believe in Him.

Sabrina bt Zaifulizan

Sabrina bt Zaifulizan
Aktivis pembina & BLN (Biro Luar Negara)

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